I’m gonna be really honest right now: It feels like I’m losing my mind. The last few months have bee far from easy, and I feel like I’m just losing more and more control on my life. I’m consntly tired, and it’s very hard to control the anger that keep building up inside me. Everything feel so hopeless and dark, and that there is no going forward from here. When is this corona-madness going to end, or at least get a bit better? I’m starting to feel like it will take many, many months. Maybe even years. I don’t even know if I believe in the vaccines, since the virus will just keep on mutating.
I know I’m not alone feeling like this. I know there is people that have it even worse than me right now. I try to find comfort in the things I do have instead of focusing on everything I wish could be better, but the truth is that I’m tired of telling myself these things. I’m very depressed because I feel like I am forced to live a in-between life, alone in norway. I just want to move on from the memories of my old life and start over with my boyfriend. I’m so very sad I haven’t seen him since the summer of 2020. And the worst part is that I have no clue when I get to see him again. So I’m stuck in my nice and big apartment, alone. Well, not completely alone, since I have my cat, Vira, but it’s still not the same as being in the company of a human being.
I try to see Fenrir at least once a week. Thursdays in my walk/run day with him. I also have him some weekends. But he is a dog that requires alot of attention, and I’ve been feeling extremely drained lately.
Mostly I just focus on my job and my workouts. That’s the most important thing in my life to focus on right now. Though even that is getting harder and harder now.
